Monday, August 15, 2011

The Rookie

During the postseason chase, there is a premium on bullpen pitchers. One day's stud, is the next day's demotion. As the Red Sox are learning with Franklin Morales, many teams are just happy to get rid of their relievers for next to nothing. Sometimes you just need that diamond in the rough.

To all Major League Baseball teams, I would like to submit my resume of work to anyone interested. Brief background, I played catcher and 3B up until sophomore year of high school, but I had to give it up to pursue my budding tennis career. Throughout college I played softball, intramurals, corporate and slosh, and was a force to be recokned with. Further, on weekends I was a member of the fearsome A-Team Baseball team striking fear in the hearts of everyone around Santa Clara.

Why does this matter? Well, during yesterday's rain delay in Cleveland, we found a speed gun challenge secballpark. 3 throws for $1, it was a wise investment. With scouts/fans all over the place, and with no warm up whatsoever, the 6 foot 3 inch, 195lb incredibly good looking threat- Wills Fallon took 3 pitches- topping hitting 76 mph on the gun, without even breaking a sweat. I felt loose/limber and my arm doesn't even hurt this morning. I went back later and again got in the 70+ mph range so I am encouraged by this. I'm pretty sure that on a steady workout and throwing schedule I should be able to start getting to the mid to high 80s by the end of August, and low 90s by the middle of September and the high 90s by game one of the LDS' games. Perfect timing.

Major league teams should also know that I will be working with the world famous pitching coaches Thain Simon and Joe Supple to perfect my delivery and my swag on the mound. Further, my strength and conditioning coach is Kenny Powers as I am exclusively on the K-Swiss label. While it has been close to 7 years since I last competitively played baseball, I have learned the intricacies of strategy and developed my confidence to not be afraid of any man. Take the DNA of Brian Wilson and mix it with the DNA of Jonathon Paplebon and what you get is Wills Fallon. FACT!

Also, as any of my fellow A-Teamers can attest I am an offensive threat and can hit for the cycle at any point.

For those interested in signing me for a tryout, please leave a comment in the comments section, or email at My agent will be Mike Mitchell and I will be commanding a hefty signing bonus with a contract in the high Six figures- I also will not play for the Yankees. I will be the face of the franchise during the post-season chase.

As you can see, the past 2 games were pretty boring, so we had some fun with this blog post.

Coming Attractions: We're en route to Pittsburgh to see the Cards vs Pirates tonight. While this game would have been 100x better had the Pirates still had a chance, the Cards are now playing with a sense of urgency as they try to catch the Brewers. After a disappointing showing in STL we're hoping Pujols goes deep tonight.

What I Like: My chances of signing a major league contract at the end of this trip.

What I DIS-like: The rain. Seriously, can you give us a break mother nature? Long rain delay in Chicago, rain-out in Cleveland, and it looks like we're headed to another rain storm in Pittsburgh. Stop doing this to us.

Bleacher Bums: I was thoroughly disappointed in the Chicago White Sox fans we saw on Saturday. They seemed more interested in drinking and talking to other rando people than in actually watching the game. US Cellular (and Progessive) was also not particularly modern as they were both built just before the shift in stadium construction were sightlines would be improved and you could see the field from wherever you were. The rain delay in Cleveland was fun as we made friends with other fans, found more "Bottoms Up" beer, and furthered Wills' major league chances.

Food Debate: we enjoyed the Harry Buffalo in Cleveland once we left the game. Pretty delicious burgers (read huge) and great wings for a very cheap price.

DJ MMM: Still loving Watch the Throne and starting to fall in love with Frank Ocean and the Weeknd. Go check all 3 of those things out.

That's all folks, we'll keep you posted with contract news. Gotta go though, Buster Olney's on hold.

- W+M

No comments:

Post a Comment